i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
