I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
