If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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