i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
