Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
