thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
