K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
