literally had 100 drinks last night.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
