i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
