Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
