We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
