On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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