Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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