I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
