you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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