Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
