We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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