If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
