i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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