If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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