I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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