3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
