Don't you send me to vm
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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