There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
