My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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