Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
