It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
