Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
