i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im holly from the hills drunk
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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