Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
