If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
