Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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