So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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