Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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