he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
