Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
