once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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