no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
