you would pick up someone in the library
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
