Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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