I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
