Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
