I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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