the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
