life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
