I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
