So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
