She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
