I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
