Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
