RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
